My first definition of love comes from my family. I learned love through their caring and affection. I understood it because their support for me was never ending. My sisters showed me what love was by making me laugh all the time and always being there to wipe my tears when I was upset. Love defined by family is never ending love for one another for the simple fact that you are family.

            Love became something different when I got older. Love lost me in the hectic schedule of my life. Love left me for something better. All of a sudden it was like I had to search for it and even then it was nowhere to be found. Of course now I am referring to love with a boy. It seemed like all my friends had boyfriends when we were in tenth grade. I didn’t have one until later in the year. One day love struck me like lighting coming out of the sky so fierce and strong.  He found me and with him I found love.

            He was the purest definition of love I have ever known. His love was kind and unconditional. His love was carried with a smile. We spent every waking moment with each other. The feeling in my stomach was love. My face turned red, my muscles became tight, and my heart melted with pure joy. We became best friends through our love for one another. I told him everything and anything. My family absolutely adored him as well. Still today I find myself going back to him whenever I need a great definition of love.

            No one ever tells you how to find love or where to look for it. I use to think this was because they had not found it either. I realized later that no one can tell you where love is because love is something you must find on your own. I can honestly say that I have found true love twice in my life. As I sit here typing away I am comforted to know that love is out there working hard for me. Love is waiting again to pick me up off my feet and sweep me away into its open arms. I will always have a friend in love.

       Carl had cancer, and he battled it for fourteen years. He was a fighter, he never gave up and always had a positive attitude. The article states that researchers have found occasionally there were cases of melanomas and kidney cancers that completely disappeared on their own. If only Carl’s had gone away like that. He was the kind of person that you always wanted to make proud. You just couldn’t let him down.

       Although their have been these cases, it has not been helpful yet to other cancer patients because no one can be sure a detected cancer will disappear or continue to spread. But I would have given anything for Carl to be one of those rare cases.

The view from our Favorite Restaurant

       Many things came to mind when I dreamed of my first real spring break.  Ocean, drinking, boys, adventure, and exploring another country.  It took me a while to convince my mother to let me go to Acapulco, Mexico with my friends Rachel and Stephanie.  She had heard all the spring break nightmare stories and was very nervous about me going.  But I was invincible, nothing would happen and I was fearless ready for the time of my life.

            I will never forget the ride to our hotel the first day we got to Mexico.  We were staying at the Copa Cobana; can it get anymore spring break than that?  As we rode in the cab down endless hills and windy roads you could see the beautiful coast line and the largest mansions I have seen in my life. 

            “The owner of the Palladium lives in that mansion, he is only here during the summer though, said the cabby.”

            I thought how does a man have a house that big only for the summer.  Well when I finally experienced club Palladium I knew how.  The Palladium is one of the biggest clubs in the world.  The tickets cost us around 50 US dollars to get in.  The moment I stepped in the door I was overwhelmed by the size.  It looked like an old mall or a stadium.  The bars were endless and the dance floor was as big as two football fields.  I had never seen anything like it in my life.  The best part was the windows.  The whole front of the club was a huge glass window overlooking all of Acapulco. 

            So my girls and I headed over to this stage like contraption and began dancing with the boys we had met from room 1802.  They were from Long Island, us New Yorkers must stick together.  I wanted another drink and wandered over to the nearest bar.  I saw these velvet ropes but thought nothing of it, I was immediate stopped by a bouncer and told that it was VIP ONLY.  I thought please I am VIP.  Then it happened, these guys motioned over to me and told the bouncer I was with them.  I just got into VIP! So my friends followed and we partied with the richest most gorgeous Canadians in Mexico.  They had bottle service all night and a VIP couch area.  Being the sneaky and nosey person I am, at the end of the night I peeked at their bill, $2,500!  Yet I didn’t feel bad about digging my stiletto heels into the couch while dancing or drinking all the grey goose.  I mean come on it was spring break, and when would I ever have a night like this again.

            The next night we went to another club and once again our short dresses and sexy ways got us into VIP again.  I couldn’t believe it, I was in a dream.  I had people pouring me shots left and right.  Next we jumped on the bar to dance and the bartender loved it.  My friend Rachel got bold and jumped behind the bar.  After seeing it was ok I followed.  They actually let us make our own drinks behind the bar and serve a few other people some drinks too! I thought, wow my life is complete now.

Making Our Own Drinks Behind The Bar !

            So the same routine continued each day.  Lay out by the pool and drink until around 2pm.  Then we would go shower and get ready to go to dinner.  Then we would come back from dinner and take a nap before hitting the club of the night.  The night we broke that plan, the night our schedule was a little off, it happened to me!

            No one could make up their mind this night so there was tension between us. Stephanie decided to stay at the hotel and hang out with the 1802 boys.  Rachel and I went to get some dessert.  While walking back to our hotel the way we did each night, this night was different.  We hadn’t gone to the club so we weren’t walking down the dark alleyway to our hotel with other spring breakers.  We were all alone.

 I noticed this man in the middle of the street starring at me.  He was walking backwards as to follow us as we walked forward.  He was on his cell phone but never took his eyes off me.  He got closer and closer to us, and a split second before “it happened” I thought to myself Oh my god this guy is pretending to be one his phone.  Then he grabbed me.  He had my arm so tight and he pulled me to the ground.  I started screaming, and instead of letting go of my purse I fought back and pulled back.  He grabbed my arm tighter and and pushed my face towards the sidewalk.  Then the leather wrist strap of my purse ripped and he took off with it.  It’s so sad and vein to say but all I could think about was my brand new camera and all my pictures from Mexico were now gone.  He also got my credit card and $200 in cash.  Thankfully my passport was in our room.

I have never been so terrified in my whole entire life.  After he got away I continued to scream and cry hysterically. Some other spring breakers walking towards us asked if we were ok. Then some jerk proceeded to say, “You know you shouldn’t carry a purse like that.”  I mean come on I just got mugged could you have said anything more stupid.

So we got back to the hotel and told the front desk and it was like a routine thing for them, no big deal, and there was nothing they could do.  They just looked at me with these blank stares like I should have just expected this to happen.  They told me I could report it to the Tourist Office in the morning.

I called my mom and she cancelled my credit card immediately and wired me some more money.  She didn’t want us going anywhere after that, she said to stay at the hotel.  I could not sleep at all that night and had awful dreams.  In fact I still have nightmares about the guy that mugged me.  I will never forget his face.

So the next morning I reported it and there was an older couple there reporting the same thing.  In a way it made me feel better because I thought I got mugged because I was an innocent weak girl, but this older couple had gotten mugged too.

I don’t care what anyone says, weither you have pepper spray or know self defense moves, it will not help you in these situations.  If someone grabs your arm you’re not going to be able to reach in your purse for pepper spray.  When it happens to you, you can’t do anything, you’re completely helpless because it happens so fast.  I have learned a lot from this situation but I still feel extremely victimized and am very untrustworthy of people I see out and about now.

           One day before the election I heard the heartbreaking news that Barack’s grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, had died of cancer on Sunday night, November 2nd.  She would never know if her grandson had won the election.  She passed barely two days before the election, leaving Barack with a bittersweet event ahead.  It must be terrible knowing that the woman who always took care of you will not see if you become President or not.  Barack himself has called it a bittersweet time in his life.

         In trying to relate his situation to one of my own, although not even close in comparison, I remembered the passing of my own grandmother whom I called Nanny.  I think alot about the things she never got to see me do and all the things to come in the future.  But thats where the relating ended because I stopped myself.  I felt bad for even trying because I was not about to find out if I were to be President or not, and I did not just spend almost two years on an exhausting campaign.

My #2 favorite multimedia website is www.fox23.com. Fox 23 has a great multimedia presentation right at the top of their page. It has a slide show of pictures with a short summary of each story, allowing you to click on it for the full story. This allows viewers to quickly browse each photo and story summary, and then click on whatever story they want to fully read. This website also has an in depth section with many different categories of slideshows including fashion, celebrities, the presidential campaing, and Around the World Today. The website has two video sections. One towards the bottum of the page with categories including sports,weather,mornings, and fast track. On the right hand side of the page there is a section with more local news videos.

My 3rd favorite multimedia website is www.lohud.com. My favorite part about this website is the diverse photo gallery section. This sections of photo galleries include a daily, sports, and user-submitted photo gallery. I found this very interesting and unique because not many other websites have a section dedicated to user submitted photos. This website is very user friendly and also has a section where you can submit photos for a profile and also submit photos for publication. This website also has a video section with a great title “LoHud TV”.

Michael Phelps is a true Aquaman!

                 Did you know that Michael Phelps’ arms extend, 79 inches, 3 inches taller than his actual height?  Either did I until I read the September 1st issue of People Magazine.  Learning unbelievable information about Phelps’ swimmer made body I could not put the article down.  Some would call him a true Aquaman.

                 I watched all 8 races Phelps won at the Olympics and not once did I think about how his body could give him an advantage over the other swimmers.  He has hands the size of dinner plates.  Shorter legs and a longer torso, helping him decrease resistance.  His knees, ankles, and elbows are all double-jointed.  With a shoe size of 14 and those double-jointed ankles Phelps has a set of flippers.

                How could someone have so many physical features specific to swimming.  At this point I was imppressed.  That all changed when I became amazed at the next fact I read.  While swimming Phelps heart pumps 8 gallons of blood a minute surpassing the human average 3 times!  It’s hard to believe that pumping such a large amount of blood so quickly wouldn’t give him a heart attack.  Instead it gave him 8 gold medals.

You tube video of Phelps freestyle swim     This link will bring you to a video of Phelps on you tube swimming a freestlye filmed with a multi angle camera.  If you watch this video you will see first hand exactly how his Aquaman features allow him to swim so fast.

Phenomenal Phelps article from People Magazine September 1st 2008

Whiskey Sour posing outside of a shop on the corner of Lark and Hudson. She told me it would look good in front of the window with the flowers on it.

     September 20^th, 2008 marked the 27^th annual Larkfest in Albany, NY.  The event was held from 10am until 5:30pm attracting around 70,000 people. This year Larkfest was expanded to Washington Avenue and Townsend Park to accommodate 80 vendors. 

Whiskey Sour loves to have her picture taken.

            Whiskey Sour proved to be the most put together drag queen in attendance at this year’s Larkfest.  She is 6 ft tall with tropical blue eyes and an innocent smile.  Covered in cherry red fish net tights from head to toe with a huge self decorated fluffy feather hat to match, she stares directly at me batting her eyelashes and giggling shyly here and there at my questions.  The whole costume also containing a midnight black shirt and skirt with a ruffled bandana added to the end of it, dazzling silver chains dangling from her skirt and earrings that matched, a Jessica Simpson like curly blonde wig highlighted with a mocha brown, and of course black stiletto heels, all costing a total of two hundred dollars.

            Whiskey Sour was not at Larkfest just for fun, she had a job to do.  It was her first professional drag queen gig at Larkfest of the past eleven years she has attended.  There promoting Cheesecake  Machismo located at 293 Hamilton Street, Whiskey Sour stood outside their booth excitedly embracing the thousands of people passing by while simply saying “Happy Larkfest, try some homemade cheesecake.” 

“If I say hi first and don’t give them a chance to be scared of me, people usually just break down and melt,” said Whiskey Sour.

     Intrigued with the attention Whiskey Sour continued to talk about everything from each store she got pieces of her costume at to her other drag queen performances at Tess’s Lark Tavern.  If it was up to Whiskey being a drag queen performer would be her fulltime job, but it simply doesn’t pay the bills. 

     The real Whiskey Sour is a 43 year old man named Kevin Bruce.  Kevin Bruce grew up in CT and moved to Albany eleven years ago.  Mr. Bruce lives in his own apartment right on Lark Street.  His day job consists of working at the Dunkin Donuts on Pearl Street.  Bruce tells me he is also a painter and displays his work at local art shows.  During the day Kevin Bruce is a regular guy who does what he has to do to earn a living, but at night Whiskey Sour is born. 

    The difference between the two personalities of Kevin Bruce is that Whiskey Sour takes two hours to get ready and Kevin Bruce takes ten minutes.  Whiskey Sour completes a process of shaving, including her eyebrows.  First she takes a shower, then moisturizes, lays out her clothes, and puts on her cover girl and theatrical make-up, ending by wiring her wigs together for more volume.  The most interesting thing I learned about Whiskey was a drag queen secret she revealed to me. “It’s an old drag queen trick to fill tights with birdseed and stuff your bra with them because you can shape and mold it to look very real” said Whisky.

    Larkfest is a festival for everyone.  It appeals to families, college students, businesses, drag queens, and even senior citizens.  Although Larkfest is the only day of the year when it is legal to drink a beer while walking down Lark Street many come for the food, music, performances, and a chance to help Albany businesses thrive.

             As I sit here on the couch feeding the four month old baby, Carson, I babysit I think how awful it would be if he received tainted milk or any contaminated baby products for that matter.  Unfortunately for parents in China this has become a reality. 

           At first I thought maybe it was a simple mistake, but plastic in milk powder seemed more than a little mistake.  Then my thoughts started running completely wild and I thought with the lead poisoning in toys and now the tainted milk maybe China is purposely trying to kill infants.  I feel bad even saying that but it came to mind with the overpopulation and all. 

          Over 1,200 infants have become ill due to the tainted milk.  340 infants were hospitalized, and 53 are said to be in serious condition.  This problem has also caused two fatalities.  The manufacturer of this product, the Sanlu Group, has already recalled over 8,200 tons of tainted formula.

         So at least this product is only in China right?  Wrong!  This product is also known to be sold in ethnic stores in the U.S. as well.  Now Carson lies on his play mat starring at me with his curious eyes.  I could not even imagine if I were to feed him something like the tainted Sanlu milk.  The product has been linked to causing kidney stones, urinary tract ulcers, skin and eye irritations due to the chemical,melamine, found in the product.

           Carson smiles at me and moves his hands back and forth, excited by the funny faces I make at him.  The more I watch his innocent face the more infuriated I become by this whole situation.  This is the second case of a milk powder problem in only four years.  In 2004 13 infants died due to a milk powder that was made with barely any nutrition.  I am angry that so many products made in China recently are being so poorly they are causing people and animals to become sick and even die.  Now I am also reminded by the pet food incident.  It just seems to be never ending.  I truly hope this is the last problem of this sort and that people wake up from this and realized how important it is to make sure they are making these products carefully and correctly.  Carson starts to fall asleep as I rock him back and forth and I am so glad that he drinks breast milk! index.html

     I realized something incredible throughout the process of this show.  I had, what some may call, an epiphany.  I found a piece of myself I could not define for so long. I came to understand why I loved dance and what exactly I loved about it. I can barely put words to the feeling I had when finally all of the pieces to the puzzle fit perfectly together creating a significance much larger then myself.

       I decided to tape a few of the dance pieces and interview one of my friends in the audience whom I use to dance with on the Albany Patroons dance team. At first I thought I would ask a random person in the audience to answer my questions or maybe even an employee who works at Lark Tavern, but then I realized I didn’t want the answers to be impersonal or distant. I wanted someone with a knowledge and background in dance. Maybe I secretly wanted someone who would answer questions I could not even answer myself. Now that I think about it I truly believe I was somehow unconsciously looking for someone to close to me who could shine a light on something I was so confused about.

    Our dressing room is upstairs at the Tavern. So I walked down the old creaky stairs not knowing who I would choose and as I looked out in the audience I saw my beautiful friend and fellow dancer, we call her Kat for short, Kathleen. I handed her my questions and asked her to answer them after the show. She politely agreed and wished me good luck with an excitement in her eye.

       Before I knew it the show was over and my friend Tiffany had handed me Kat’s answers to my interview questions. As everyone else was hurrying to get dressed and go out and celebrate I sat down and read the paper. The last question was to add anything else you wanted to say about the show. There it was, starring so boldly back at me, the answer I had been waiting years for. “Without struggle there is no success”.  It continued, ” You have to work hard to achieve your dream.”  I know it sounds so simple but to me it had uncomplicated so many things.

     For a long time I danced for other people and not myself. I danced to please everyone but me. I danced for the reaction of the audience or the praise of a teacher. I danced so I could brag about it, I danced for everything and everyone but me. And for about a year I became so lost in it, and danced so much I didn’t know why I even danced anymore. I danced for the fear of what would happen if I didn’t dance. But ever since I started dancing with Kat and the other girls from my Albany Patroons Dance Team I learned to dance for myself. I learned to be myself no matter what. These girls accepted me unconditionally for exactly who I already was, and with that I accepted me. They encouraged me to be a better person on a daily basis. I grew strong with them and my dancing fell into place as well. It finally fit in where I needed it to and was more about me. Just as I loved me for me, I loved dance for simply being dance.

     As for Kat’s amazing quote, it drew my attention to the fact that I also loved the challenge and struggle dance brought me. My hard times with dance brought me to where I am now, at peace with dance. I grew to love dancing because of the people I now share it with. I met these girls at a very hard time in my life and somehow they were right there to pick me up. 

         Dance will always be a constant in my life, as I hope will my dance friends too. It is funny to think that it was not in them telling me I am a wonderful person and a great dancer for me to believe it within myself, it was simply them loving who I am so effortlessly. I look at dance differently now and ever since last night I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.